koolaidicecubes:

FREE THEM

zapidos:

My little brother and I were swimming and my dad walked out and said “it’s trash day tomorrow you know what that means” and my brother looked at me dead in the eyes and said “it’s time for you to go.”

clvbpenguin:

my mom doesn’t even text me back

perchu:

when you try to click an image on tumblr to see a bigger version but you get redirected to someones blog

image

dannnylawrence:

unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

Re: Your Anaconda,

Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.

Yours, etc.
A bunless hun

sofapizza:

sturmtruppen:

the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person

"look here you dumbshit did you forget how to two-leg"

2spookytomhiddles:

lollookatallthepeasants:

spookymaradyer:

creppyvevo:

spookywanweird:

fugrats:

godwithabod:

hey who wants to start a gang

ill ask my mom

my mom wants to talk to your mom just to make sure its okay

my mom said its ok as long as im back before supper

my mom volunteers to carpool

Mom wants to know if we will be eating lunch there, or if I should just eat at home

my mom will make us some snacks

tayloriaa:

I eat a lot for someone who’s terrified of gaining weight.

thatsnothowitworks:

chongotheartist:

100 daddies

Not the turn I thought it was going to take.